The other day I realized it’s been almost a year since I traveled outside of Texas. And aside from trips to San Antonio and Dallas, I haven’t even really left Austin. I would be tempted to say this is the longest I’ve gone without traveling anywhere in about 12 years. As someone who used to go on day trips almost every weekend and treated a 1,200 mile drive like no big deal, this was a really weird realization and I began to wonder why and how I went this long without going somewhere.
There were a lot of logical, rational reasons. About a year ago, I sold my car, thus effectively ending my road trip spree, because as it turns out renting a car is really annoying and expensive. Then there was also my fear of flying and outright refusal to fly. It turns out getting over that isn’t as easy as declaring it over. I moved to my own place after a breakup, my budget tightened and I got a new job. In short, a lot of logistics of my life changed very quickly.
I wondered, though, if there was something more to my lack of desire to travel than the logistics of life. For the past year, I’ve had a feeling I haven’t quite had in my adult life–which was the desire to stay.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been plotting my new move, whether it was the next apartment, the next house, the next city, the next state. This was the first year there was no next. There was just Austin. For the first time, I found myself living somewhere I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t even want to plan to move. That feeling was new.
It wasn’t that my desire for travel died, it just wasn’t central to who I was anymore, which could be another reason why I felt like blogging less. It felt a bit uncomfortable to go from someone who was always going somewhere to someone who went no where. I don’t think there’s virtue in either mentality, it’s just two different mindsets which are perfectly reasonable to have at any given point in time.
In June, I’m getting a car, and I’m already plotting my first few trips around Texas and possibly up to Colorado later in the summer. It feels nice to feel that itch to go again, but I’m also feeling good with life being more stable in many ways. It feels good to want to stay, but also nice to get excited about going again.