My ultimate goal with blogging is not to always talk about blogging, but given that I post every day, I think about it a lot. Blogging often gives me anxiety. I came here today after a day off, excited to write a post about my love for puzzles. What stopped my joy was my analytics.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about blogging. I wrote my first ever blog post back in 2000 or so. I complained about these kids I had to babysit. I found it on the Wayback Machine and had a good laugh. I’ve been writing ever since then, with the majority of my posts actually being on LiveJournal. I started Those Graces/Road Darling in 2010, around the time bloggers started getting book deals and movies made about them.
This little thing I started doing on the Internet when I was 14 turned into a real profession. For a long time I thought I wanted to be A Full-Time Blogger, but when I quit my job a few years ago to try it, I found that I hated it. Turning my hobby into a job was a bad idea, so I went back to a “real” job.
Over the years I’ve met many women (and some men, too) who blog as a job or at least a steady income source. I’ve seen a lot of them worry about analytics and follower counts. From time to time I’ve told them, “You know this is supposed to be fun, right?” The way they worry doesn’t seem like fun. It looks like hell.
About two years ago, I deleted my blog for 6 months because I was just done with it. Ultimately I decided to un-delete my blog, and since then I haven’t tried to make it a job or even a source of income. When I find myself worrying, like today, about bounce rates and visits, I remind myself that THIS IS A HOBBY! I am choosing to do this over other things, because for whatever reason, I like it. I’ve kept a journal since I was 12-years-old, so maybe in a way I see myself more as a diarist that a blogger.