What goes through my mind as a daily blogger

Y’all, I am really tired. Like spent, waiting to pass out. I was going to curl up in bed and watch more episodes of American Horror Story: Hotel and probably fall asleep. But then I realized I had to write a blog post. These are the things that go through my head when that happens.

I’m so tired. Like eyes about to shut at any minute tired. But I made a commitment! To the blog! OK, really to myself! But, what if I skip today’s post? What?! I can’t skip it. I’m only a month in. I can’t quit when I have ELEVEN more months to go. What am I? A failure? Maybe I am a failure. Maybe I can just go ahead and fail at this project, just like every project I try. No, I can’t fail! Because what will I learn if I just give up? I can’t give up!

But who’s going to read this? Only 150 people come here every day and mostly for old posts about Lush. If I had known I’d get so many Lush hits, I probably would’ve never written about them. Because, oh, I don’t like Lush anymore. I dislike them so much that I private-ed my most popular post that caused too much controversy with Lush fans because it was anti-Lush. Maybe with that post I’ve be getting 200 hits a day. Maybe I should un-private it. No, that’s stupid. I hate that post.

So what am I going to write about today? I’m tired. Do I have a photo for this post? Do I need a photo for this post? Will people read it without a photo? Do I need to link to things? I’m lazy, but I know that helps with SEO. SEO is good. SEO will get me more hits.

Caring about hits is stupid. I shouldn’t care about hits. But Jet Pack shows me them every day, so obviously I should care a little about hits. Maybe 10%. Hits are stupid. This blog is probably stupid. What am I doing with my life? When can I go to bed? Shouldn’t I be doing some “real” work? Probably. I should always be working. OK, not always but at least most of the time.

But first a blog post.

The Fine Goods Pop Up – Holiday Edition

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Y’all know that I’m a huge fan of Austin’s own The Distillery Market, which is run by my friend Catelyn and her brother Clif. On December 9th, they’ll be hosting the second iteration of The Fine Goods Pop Up. The first one was a smashing success, so if you’re looking for holiday gifts, you’ll want to add this one to your calendar.

To make the whole thing even more enticing, it’s being held at The Paper Craft Pantry, which opens next week! There must be something in the water in Austin. There’s so many women doing so many cool things!

3 Ways to Detach From Social Media

Detaching from social media was a topic I planned to write about a few days ago. It seems all the more relevant with the entire internet buzzing about Essena O’Neill. Despite being a new vegan, I hadn’t heard of Essena until Anji of Happy Health Vegan made a response video to her. Essena is a 19-year-old Australian woman who made YouTube videos and had a wide following on Instagram. Last week she now famously quit social media.

Quitting social media is definitely a feeling I’ve had in the past. Every social media platform I’ve ever joined I’ve quit at least once. I’ve also complained that Instagram is basically a compilation everyone hanging out without you. And, oh, I quit Facebook about four years ago.

Social media pressure can be stupidly overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s three coping mechanisms I’ve developed for my social media life.

Lesson One: Remove social media apps from your phone.

I recently got fed up with Instagram. I had this feeling of, “This is stupid! I am done with this!” I could have deleted my account, but if I changed my mind, I’d have to start over. Instead of deleting my account, I simply deleted the app off my phone. It gave me that feeling of quitting without, you know, actually quitting. Vindication! Well, kind of.

Lesson Two: Turn of notifications.

I used to be obsessed with Instagram likes. It became exhausting and, well, stupid, so I turned off notifications. I also turned off Twitter notifications. While I’m not exactly addicted to Twitter (anymore), I like the surprise of checking the app and seeing if I have anything new.

Lesson Three: Leave for as long as you feel necessary.

When I was super frustrated with Instagram, I took a two week break. I still checked in on my feed, but I didn’t post myself. I’ve also had friends who have done this for Facebook, which you can actually delete and then reactivate if you change your mind. At the very least, it gives you a small break. The only platform I haven’t quit for a long period is Twitter because, well, I love it. It might feel like you’re leaving for a long time, but probably the only one who will notice is you and maybe your mom.

I hope these three tips help you deal with the (unreal) pressures of social media. The important thing to remember is that you’re the one in control and there are no rules!

Real Talk: Living With Depression and Anxiety

I’ve been blogging for five years now, but never once have I shared a fairly big part of my life, which is that I struggle with depression and anxiety.

In the past I cited my depression as starting at the onset of adolescence, but through the past few years of therapy I’ve come to realize that it probably started at birth. I was never a particularly happy child and my parents struggled to understand my moody temperament. In the words of Lady Gaga, I was, well, probably born this way. I’ve accepted that I will probably always struggle with depression and anxiety in some form, although no one has a time machine.

Depression and anxiety can feel so incredibly lonely and debilitating. Before I started taking anti-anxiety medication (a period which I jokingly refer to as BZ for “Before Zoloft”), I had episodes where I spent whole days in bed convinced I was dying.

Though I never mentioned it, two and a half years ago my first solo cross country road trip was marred by depression and anxiety. I would be driving when out of nowhere I felt I was going to die. No one could convince me otherwise. It was so bad that I spent an hour in my car in the middle of no where in Nevada at a gas station, crying, convinced I would be dead at any minute. There was a lot of self discovery on that trip, but it didn’t come easy.

On blogs and social media people share the pretty shiny things of life. Really we’re all just struggling with some real shit. I’ve improved a lot over the past three years through therapy and anti-anxiety medication. While I still struggle with depression and anxiety, every time it seems to get just a little bit easier.

I want to let anyone reading this know that they are not alone in depression or anxiety. There is help out there and it’s never too late. It causes me such deep sadness when I think of all the people out there who feel helpless. Please, if you are struggling, get help. It is never, ever, ever too late. And you are never alone.

Some Resources

There are tens of thousands of resources of there, simply google to find some that work for you!
National Alliance for Mental Illness
International Suicide Prevention Wiki
Kristin Brooks Hope Center
Anxiety and Depression Association of America
Apps for helping with depression and anxiety
Stop Panic and Anxiety app (This app seriously helped me so much in the past!)