Do friend breakups ever get easier? Jury’s still out, but I’m tempted to say yes. I wrote about my first ever friend breakup in in 2011. Honestly I don’t remember why this girl and I stopped being friends. At the time, I remember it all felt very dramatic. Even now, I’m not sure if I’d rekindle the friendship, but I like her well enough that I follow her on Instagram. Oh, modern technology, confusing everything.
Since then I had two other friend breakups that happened around the same time I split from my ex, so as you can probably imagine, it’s very easy to remember why those friendships ended. I’m currently going through what will probably become another friend breakup, but this time it’s over why I’m hurt by this person.
As I age, I realize that even though friend breakups do get easier, they are often more difficult than romantic breakups.
It wasn’t until this past year that I realized friend breakups are part of life. I came to this conclusion after watching many episodes of Wendy Williams, who has talked openly about losing friends. She’s a big believer in the fact that we all have a finite time in any given day and it shouldn’t be wasted on people who are bringing you pain. In Wendy’s world, she shows them the door, ride or die style.
Before I thought a lot about my friend breakups, but now they taken up less space in my mind. As I near 30, my bullshit detector has gotten better, and when it goes off, I listen to it. I think the toughest times in our lives reveal who’s a true friend. This is not to say someone is bad for not being a true friend. They just aren’t a friend and that’s that. It’s easy to be a good friend when times are easy, but easy times say nothing about who a person truly is at the end of the day.
I used to think friend breakups were the end of the world, but the truth is, they aren’t. One or two (or more) people exiting your life means there’s more time for other people to enter it. At the end of the day, we only have so much time and it’s just a numbers game of to spend it with.